Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Sandy Chronicles - At The Clay Pit, Part One




There isn't much to be said for hanging around east Texas as a teenager, except that it makes one adventuresome. Sandy, Peggy and I found our way to a secluded spot outside of Jasper Texas, the beauty of which could be summed up by a vision of cool water surrounded by tall pines on a hot and humid day.

This particular spot was off the main, two-lane highway, down a red dirt trail of a road. Hardly more than parallel soft tracks in the earth with a hummock of pine straw down the middle, gathered by passing vehicles. Down that road, we had heard that some entrepreneurial east Texans had been dredging for Fuller's earth, a type of clay favored in the cosmetic and food industries for its smooth texture, the color varying from pale pink to dark ochre to whisper gray and as slick as cold cream. Thus, adventure beckoned to our cadre of summer hot house beauties.

East Texas, being a land of many waterways and much rainfall, made keeping the mined pits free of water a trial. Not long after dredging was begun in an area, the bucket would hit a spring or a sudden downpour of rain would fill the pit overnight and make the operation pointless. (Apocryphally, sometimes leaving the heavy equipment submerged at the bottom of the pit.) With the inevitable flooding, the equipment would simply be moved a few hundred yards further away through the pine forest and digging begin afresh, only to have the same thing occur, eventually.

That day, the three of us discovered one of the smaller pools, twinkling polished turquoise in color under the mid-day sun. We stripped off our clothes and began to paddle about and laugh and exchange tales. Not long into our forest revery, a voice made us aware of another's presence. That voice said, "Which one of you women is ready for some DICK!" The intruder said this with his hands down his open pants, waggling his member at us and being totally serious about his statement, for it certainly was not a question. I quickly sized up his age (under 17), and his IQ (about the same), and figured him for no threat.

What surprised me more than his appearance out of seemingly nowhere was the fact of Sandy's silence. I had come to know this tall, outspoken, gorgeous woman as being quite the jive-talker and figured she would be stepping up to that plate and knocking a line drive down his throat with a few choice and wounding words. But, no! She remained silent, as did Peggy. That left me, the skinny chick, to handle the matter.

I began wading toward the intruder's place on the pit's shore and giving voice to how he was violating our privacy and how it looked like a penis, only smaller, etc. That did deter him and he headed back into the woods from whence he came and we three naiads relaxed in our watery haven once more.

Only problem was that he soon returned AND with reinforcements! This time the entire dredging crew of  5 or 6 fellow rednecks joined him and began hooting and hollering at us. Had the original guy or the crew been good natured about the situation instead of harassing us, they would have been treated to a friendly conversation, as was my nature, even while swimming naked in front of a bunch of strangers. But as there was a slightly menacing air about them, we three decided to make our exit from the no longer calm waters of the clay pit pool.

First to climb up the bare clay cliff to the top where our car was parked was Peggy. It was a fairly steep ascent and she had to use pine tree roots and small plants to heave her way back up. I followed and Sandy was behind me. By then, the clay slope had become quite slippery with the water trailed by the two of us before her, and Sandy struggled to get a purchase on the climb out. In fact, she would gain a few feet of elevation, only to slither back down the slick slope on her naked belly, round bottom up in the air, and have to try again and again before success. All the while, the crew of dredgers was laughing and saying lewd things about the 'fat one' (though far from fat she was).

With that bit of indignity behind her, and the crew returning to their craft, we relaxed again and dried off before putting our clothes back on. However the original doofus re-emerged from the woods with a goddamn camera in his hands, snapping away! I charged at him and insisted that he surrender the camera or the film and he opened the camera to reveal that it was empty, wherewith I admonished him up one side and down the other as he beat a hasty retreat back to his crew.

Needless to say, this experience with the redneck brigade did not deter us from subsequent ventures into their territory. I wonder if any of them recall that adventure of ours?


Sadly, these images have faded in color from their original and quite brilliant hues.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Tall Tale Retold


Sandy Longbotham circa 1979

Sandy and I first met at Slack Elementary School in Lufkin, Texas about 1964. She was in the 6th grade and I in the 5th and I thought her very sophisticated and mature. After that school year, she moved away and we did not encounter each other again until 1969 and then only briefly, while cruising up and down "the drag" aka Timberland Drive in Lufkin. We both lived in Austin, Texas beginning in 1971 and that is when our friendship began to blossom.

Sandy was wicked fun and if you didn't watch out, she'd land you both in the proverbial ditch. A fun ditch, always. She and I and two other friends shared a house in west Austin during 1979-80, wherein we delightedly tortured the mailman by answering the door naked, had endless parties, traded wardrobes and boyfriends and generally had the time of our young lives.

Over the many decade span of our friendship, we made a lot of history together. It was inspiring today to remember and write about Sandy. I plan to recount more of our high jinks in this blog for my own entertainment, if for no one else's. Sandy left Earth and her friends behind about four years ago. She will always be missed.

What follows is a recounting of a story that was told to me many years ago by Sandy. Another of my friends is writing her recollection of the story as told her by Sandy and we will compare the 'facts' as we remember them.

The Tale of Sandy’s High Colonic


(Maui, circa late 80s, early 90s)
by Jayne Cotten
The year in which Sandy related this story to me, and probably the year in which it took place, is lost to my memory. As the story goes, she was visiting Maui and had been given a high colonic with an
acidophilus implant at a healing clinic. The practitioner told her that it would take up to two hours to work and to be sure and not venture far from the closest toilet…Because all hell would soon be breaking loose from her nether regions.

Being the Queen of Short Attention Span (among other things), after two hours with nary a sign of response to the colonic implant, she wandered off down the beach and into the tropical sunset evening. It’s many, many hours past the two-hour deadline and still, N-o-t-h-i-n-g I-s H-a-p-p-e-n-i-n-g.

After some time of lying on the beach under the stars, it dawned on Sandy that her moment had come and that if she did not reach a toilet soon, she was going to have to perform the elimination ritual on the public beach! The nearest facility happened to be the Maui Hilton. She rushed past the valets and into the lobby and found her way to the ladies restroom. By this time, she was “sweating nuclear bullets” and knew that she had to remove her clothes immediately. Being a public restroom, there was no lock on the multi-stalled facility. She had to be resourceful and used the waste can to barricade the door from any one else’s entry. Wherewith, she proceeded to strip off every stitch of clothing and lie, writhing and
moaning loudly, on the cold marble restroom floor. Of course, someone came barreling into the restroom door, thinking it to open easily, only to find it mysteriously locked, with loud groans coming
from the other side. That person went away and was soon followed by hotel staff knocking and inquiring as to “Anyone in there? Do you need assistance?” and so forth.

Through the door, Sandy shouted the lie that she was fine, though far from it she was. For by then, the acidophilus “bomb” in her upper regions had exploded and she was glued to the toilet and sweating profusely, in full vocal agony, buck naked in the public restroom of Maui’s fanciest resort. For hours…

The details of her exit from the restroom are also missing from my memory. Instead, I have to imagine her wringing out her wet clothes, re-costuming herself and holding her head up high as she slinked out of the Hilton and back into the tropical night.



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Friday, April 16, 2010

Memories of San Miguel on a Spring Day in Central Texas

La Parroquia, San Miguel de Allende

The days in San Miguel de Allende during September of 2009 spun past like a time warp adventure park ride. Either preparing to walk about the town or resting from a recent outing, I never found the time to put words to the music of my daily journeys.

These photos speak more convincingly than words about the enchantment of that place. Clickable links beneath each image below.


Calle Recreo


Fountain of Heart


Dos Chicas


Grounds of El Sendero


Local Sabor



Laurel Topiary


Vermilion Maiden